T-Bone Steak

OMG, just heading back from a stella spin, like totally minding my own bees wax when I almost get totally T-Boned.
This little yobo of an upstart, in fairness totaly obeying the green light just failing to obey to no focking right turn sign, comes blazing out of Torquay Road (not normally the type you'd expect from there) swerves to miss me and totally parallel parks into some poor old fogey in a Polo.
I jump out of the beemer (I have a degree you know) and head toward the total mare in front of me. I arrive to hear this little yobo claiming innocence in the whole focking situation and the old fogey has no idea what to say. I get ready to start throwing digs (could you imagine) but instead try to calm the situation with a condescending explanation of the scumbag's wrong doing(I drive a Beemer you know). Luckily the poor scumbag is too stunned to respond but I just know he was totally ready to focking deck me.
Yobo A amides fault and I jump back in the 3 series, leaving the poor fogey my digits, and exit stage left before Yobo sees sense and gives me the dig I derserve.

This MTB lark is dangerous stuff..
omfg are you alroysh? You should toshally tell your psychiatrist and ginochologist about this!