failing that Don you should get some of those push-up handles in Tesco
work your manly chest and triceps and shoulders they will - essential muscles for controlling that bike of yours at hyper-speeds around Djoocey-Djooce.....
Get DB's where you can increase the weights as you get stronger, they'd be worth it in the long term - that's assuming they don't end up under the stairs.
Skippy - Have you been eating your children again? I don't know what you are on about. Is it condoms?
Fergal - Why do you need handles, can't I just use the floor? Why would would I attach handles to the floor, I m sure Richie can give some free handles.
DC - I don't want anything I have to tweak, isn't that why we have nipples?
FF - I assumed you body obsessives with you're mud wrestling and Jewjitsew would have these things as door stops and paper weights.
Happy Fairy - Bear Grylls is a fraud, most of his programes are shot with a long lense from the window of the Alaskan Hilton.
Now, where are the free dumbbells? I can even borrow them until I get bored with them next week sometime.
they are not dumbells...maybe Dumbells for Barbie or Ken..and don't spout that high rep drivel on this forum...
thats the first sign of Ladygayness..
but you are right about that uberfraud Bear Grylls..
Ray mears or that other crazy fooker that goes off on his own with two video cameras..
I can't believe you put a picture up of the Dumbells you wanted.....
you big greasy ladygay..you want to get strong..? I told you before, start wrestling the small daughter, then the older daughter, then the 2 of them together, then the granny, then the granny and the 2 daughters and only when you are really feeling the Tao of the warrior in you..try the wife..
the first couple of times are going to be difficult for you but as you get stronger, you'll get meaner and all that Boarding school nonsense you picked up about not hitting girls will evaporate out of your Medulla KNoblongata and you'll be able to use your superior muscle mass and Warrior Tao to wrestle her to the ground..
Plus the added side effect of her enjoying being manhandled after years of being politlely accosted will reap benefits you never knew of..
Don, I normally don't get involved in this sort of stuff, but in the interest of Epic, I have decided to take pity on you, you are obviously in a bad way. If you're not willing to fight children or follow Ritchie's earlier suggestion of the workout from hell, you should, in summary, do the following:
Stop buying (getting free) all that exercise crap. Those little weights are too small anyway. Stair climbers, tread mills, super strength ab machines etc are all bull****.
Gyms are a waste of time and money unless you know what you are at and have been doing it for years. Cancel your membership and join a decent size swimming pool instead, i.e. pools larger than your bath.
Go swimming twice a week. Your arms should be tired, if not, youâre not trying hard enough.
Buy a pull up bar.
Body weight exercises are much better, harder and cheaper.
Google a simple plan involving push-ups, pull ups etc. Not too many exercises (say 5). Light basic ones which target a large amount of muscles. Make up your own plan and follow it. Keep it simple, record what you do and donât make it too long, the length of a CD is good guide. Do it 3 times a week on opposing days to your swims or cyles.
Start really easy- but the last few reps should be hard.
Increase the reps weekly until you can do something similar to the workout from hell. Keep a record of your progression so you can gauge if you are improving. It also stops you taking it easy when youâre tired (you know you were able to do it a week ago, helps with your motivation).
What ever you do Don it should be hard, the last few reps should be really difficult. The swims should be tiring, being dizzy is good at the end of your pool session. Getting bonked on your cycles is a clear indication of success. Falling on your back on the last pull up should be aspired to.
I have to agree with Alice...a pull up bar is the weapon of choice for upper body strength..and the other stuff is good too..and unless you are a meathead like myself a GYm and dumbells are a waste of time..
Thanks Alan, but jeebus, all I want is some dummybells for a jot of toning, everyone is trying to perform an extreme makeover on me. However your advice on swimming is spot on, that is one thing I could do all day. I've printed out all the tips for use in my next life when I have time to do it all. By the way I have a regime of sorts in place and it seems to be working.
failing that Don you should get some of those push-up handles in Tesco
work your manly chest and triceps and shoulders they will - essential muscles for controlling that bike of yours at hyper-speeds around Djoocey-Djooce.....
Get DB's where you can increase the weights as you get stronger, they'd be worth it in the long term - that's assuming they don't end up under the stairs.
Skippy - Have you been eating your children again? I don't know what you are on about. Is it condoms?
Fergal - Why do you need handles, can't I just use the floor? Why would would I attach handles to the floor, I m sure Richie can give some free handles.
DC - I don't want anything I have to tweak, isn't that why we have nipples?
FF - I assumed you body obsessives with you're mud wrestling and Jewjitsew would have these things as door stops and paper weights.
Happy Fairy - Bear Grylls is a fraud, most of his programes are shot with a long lense from the window of the Alaskan Hilton.
Now, where are the free dumbbells? I can even borrow them until I get bored with them next week sometime.
they are not dumbells...maybe Dumbells for Barbie or Ken..and don't spout that high rep drivel on this forum...
thats the first sign of Ladygayness..
but you are right about that uberfraud Bear Grylls..
Ray mears or that other crazy fooker that goes off on his own with two video cameras..
I can't believe you put a picture up of the Dumbells you wanted.....
you big greasy ladygay..you want to get strong..? I told you before, start wrestling the small daughter, then the older daughter, then the 2 of them together, then the granny, then the granny and the 2 daughters and only when you are really feeling the Tao of the warrior in you..try the wife..
the first couple of times are going to be difficult for you but as you get stronger, you'll get meaner and all that Boarding school nonsense you picked up about not hitting girls will evaporate out of your Medulla KNoblongata and you'll be able to use your superior muscle mass and Warrior Tao to wrestle her to the ground..
Plus the added side effect of her enjoying being manhandled after years of being politlely accosted will reap benefits you never knew of..
Don, I normally don't get involved in this sort of stuff, but in the interest of Epic, I have decided to take pity on you, you are obviously in a bad way. If you're not willing to fight children or follow Ritchie's earlier suggestion of the workout from hell, you should, in summary, do the following:
Stop buying (getting free) all that exercise crap. Those little weights are too small anyway. Stair climbers, tread mills, super strength ab machines etc are all bull****.
Gyms are a waste of time and money unless you know what you are at and have been doing it for years. Cancel your membership and join a decent size swimming pool instead, i.e. pools larger than your bath.
Go swimming twice a week. Your arms should be tired, if not, youâre not trying hard enough.
Buy a pull up bar.
Body weight exercises are much better, harder and cheaper.
Google a simple plan involving push-ups, pull ups etc. Not too many exercises (say 5). Light basic ones which target a large amount of muscles. Make up your own plan and follow it. Keep it simple, record what you do and donât make it too long, the length of a CD is good guide. Do it 3 times a week on opposing days to your swims or cyles.
Start really easy- but the last few reps should be hard.
Increase the reps weekly until you can do something similar to the workout from hell. Keep a record of your progression so you can gauge if you are improving. It also stops you taking it easy when youâre tired (you know you were able to do it a week ago, helps with your motivation).
What ever you do Don it should be hard, the last few reps should be really difficult. The swims should be tiring, being dizzy is good at the end of your pool session. Getting bonked on your cycles is a clear indication of success. Falling on your back on the last pull up should be aspired to.
I have to agree with Alice...a pull up bar is the weapon of choice for upper body strength..and the other stuff is good too..and unless you are a meathead like myself a GYm and dumbells are a waste of time..
Thanks Alan, but jeebus, all I want is some dummybells for a jot of toning, everyone is trying to perform an extreme makeover on me. However your advice on swimming is spot on, that is one thing I could do all day. I've printed out all the tips for use in my next life when I have time to do it all. By the way I have a regime of sorts in place and it seems to be working.
