anyone got any experience in this. my son was telling me last night , he's being bullied in school, not physical,he's well able for them that way, but more psychological... like, being ignored, left outta games, mimicked... relentless.. he's 9. he started in this school in sept when we moved house, it's a tiny rural school.. he said to me last night, you know what i'd like more than all the millions in the lotto, to move to another school..... man,.. it totally sucks..
anyone been thru this with their kids... been to the school a few times talking to the teacher, but no improvement...
you may need to think about moving school, if the teachers cannot and will not sort it then get your kid out of there.
Your first duty is to your sprog not to the schools process or rehabilitating the other little ****s. The school has had 3 months to get it right but has obviously failed.Why would you think that things will get better in the future.
The other kids have seen that they are having an effect at this stage and that there is no real consequence from the school so that equals fair game.
Being a rural area you will probably get no result from talking to other parents otherr than "sure aren't kids teri ble cruel" or "boys will be boys"
If you do move you need to make it clear (as in written) that the reason that you are withdrawing your kid from that school is the schools inability to protect him from bullying.
It is not like back when we were in school and you could just get some of the bullies on their own and give them a hiding while telling them that you would just keep coming after them no matter how many of them gang up in school.
Bullying is taken seriously these days and the kids who witness it but do nothing are also officially counted as culpable.
Re-iterate the problem to the school see if theres any improvement, ask them what steps they've made to end it and follow up with them regularly, there is a code of conduct from the DOE regarding this and the school should be taking it very seriously.
Invite his class mates around for a party or something that can bring them together...
He will settle with them after a while...He might not get on with everyone of them but i am sure he will click with some of them... country folk are plain crazy...
Just dont let him wear brown leather sandals...country people hate sandals...boots only..
yeah, i was in the school first thing this morning, talking to his teacher. what's going on is defo a clique thing to do with natives vrs new kid in the area... i'm hoping it will sort itself out, i will be on the case though.. it just breaks your heart to hear this sorta sh*t and you can't do anything, or accuse any kid, even when you know the ringleader, . anyway cheers fellas...
Are there any sports clubs he can join, or even youth clubs if he is not the sporting type.It may be an opportunity to get introduced to new people or even break down the boundaries that exist with the 'clique'....
well whatever i said to the teach this morning might have started some progress, just spoke to my son on the phone, he's much much more upbeat, and some of the other kids played with him today.......... fingers crossed .. .
When I was in 6th class in Primary School (only 7 years ago), a new kid in 3rd class was having similar problems. It really wasn't anything intentional, it was a small country school (about 35 kids and 2 teachers), all the parents new eachother outside of school, the kids were all best friends. It wasn't that they were trying to exclude the new kid, but if some kid you kinda know is sitting on one bench, and your best mate is sitting on the other, who you gonna go sit with? Eventually the kid said something to his mum, who said it to the teacher, who said it to us, the older students, and we made that tiny bit of extra effort to include him (not that we were intentionally excluding him in the first place, if you get me). The kid had suffered in silence for about a month, from the teacher saying something to us to the kid being included the same as the rest took about a week.
Defo say something to the teachers, it will sort itself out given time. Getting him to go training with the local GAA team, things like that (only if he wants to) will defo help.
yeah, cheers man, makes sense... i think that approach of the teacher encouraging the other kids to make a bit more effort will get thru to a few, and then on to the more reluctant with time...
Chaz,
we've an 8 year old girl, and the amount of cliques and inter clique bullying and exclusion that goes on in her class would freak you out.
They get over it, hes the new kid ..they've known each other for years..you can't move him out of the School, the problem will follow him.
Kids are relentless and at 8, completely ammoral, as long as its not them thats being picked on. They'll back the fcuker up doing the picking.
he has to find a way, either by sports, or better yet being cleverer than the bullies.
speaking to the teachers is a good way to get it sorted. They will know who to squeeze.
Its the law of the Jungle in school, you just need to help him find his claws to fight back..
He definitely can't let them see it get to him.
They were bullying somebody else before he arrived.
Richie
My lad was the blow in, and a shy one at that. Had a few problems with one kid, and the rest of the kids followed. He felt very isolated. However, he did TaeKwon Do, and a couple of the 4th class boys trained with him. he started hanging with them at break time, and all of a sudden he was looked on as cool by his classmates, because he was 'in' with th 4th classers..... Kids can be fickle. All it takes is to find some common ground.
Invite one of them on a Sprockids spin with him... might break the Ice...
part of the problem is, there ain't a mean bone in his body, and he's a little bit more innocent than he should be... but i think the words i had with the teach might have helped this time. he's getting a new bike for christmas, and then i'll be bringing him on some of the sprockids spins... might even take up your idea fat fecker.. . and i think you're right richie, the teachers do know who to apply a little persuasion upon...his sister is 5, in the same school, no problem there, the difference is she started school with all the other kids in her class, and kids haven't really developed a mean streak at that age, generally... but anyway, i'm a bit more optomistic with the situation now..
I hope it works out, it's heartbreaking watching your kids struggle. If it's any consolation I had a pretty tough time being bullied by a kid in primary school, one day I just had enough and gave the guy a right kicking, never knew I had it in me and never heard from him again. Bullies are generally chicken****s. I think I turned out pretty normal, bar my obsession with tyres and knitting.
Nice to see some sound, sensible advice being offered on the site! Any of us with kids can really empatise with you Incarcerated!
Leaving the school would be a last resort for me - you probably don't have too many options close anyway? Also I think a child arriving in a new school mid-year could find it difficult to settle and you might end up in the same situation again.
I would keep gentle but consistant pressure on the teacher - maybe drop in every couple of weeks seeking updates and "advice"! "I'm not going away you know!" And then at the end of the school year reassess and make a decision.
Hope it works out!
anyone got any experience in this. my son was telling me last night , he's being bullied in school, not physical,he's well able for them that way, but more psychological... like, being ignored, left outta games, mimicked... relentless.. he's 9. he started in this school in sept when we moved house, it's a tiny rural school.. he said to me last night, you know what i'd like more than all the millions in the lotto, to move to another school..... man,.. it totally sucks..
anyone been thru this with their kids... been to the school a few times talking to the teacher, but no improvement...
you may need to think about moving school, if the teachers cannot and will not sort it then get your kid out of there.
Your first duty is to your sprog not to the schools process or rehabilitating the other little ****s. The school has had 3 months to get it right but has obviously failed.Why would you think that things will get better in the future.
The other kids have seen that they are having an effect at this stage and that there is no real consequence from the school so that equals fair game.
Being a rural area you will probably get no result from talking to other parents otherr than "sure aren't kids teri ble cruel" or "boys will be boys"
If you do move you need to make it clear (as in written) that the reason that you are withdrawing your kid from that school is the schools inability to protect him from bullying.
It is not like back when we were in school and you could just get some of the bullies on their own and give them a hiding while telling them that you would just keep coming after them no matter how many of them gang up in school.
Bullying is taken seriously these days and the kids who witness it but do nothing are also officially counted as culpable.
Re-iterate the problem to the school see if theres any improvement, ask them what steps they've made to end it and follow up with them regularly, there is a code of conduct from the DOE regarding this and the school should be taking it very seriously.
Invite his class mates around for a party or something that can bring them together...
He will settle with them after a while...He might not get on with everyone of them but i am sure he will click with some of them... country folk are plain crazy...
Just dont let him wear brown leather sandals...country people hate sandals...boots only..
yeah, i was in the school first thing this morning, talking to his teacher. what's going on is defo a clique thing to do with natives vrs new kid in the area... i'm hoping it will sort itself out, i will be on the case though.. it just breaks your heart to hear this sorta sh*t and you can't do anything, or accuse any kid, even when you know the ringleader, . anyway cheers fellas...
Are there any sports clubs he can join, or even youth clubs if he is not the sporting type.It may be an opportunity to get introduced to new people or even break down the boundaries that exist with the 'clique'....
well whatever i said to the teach this morning might have started some progress, just spoke to my son on the phone, he's much much more upbeat, and some of the other kids played with him today.......... fingers crossed .. .
When I was in 6th class in Primary School (only 7 years ago), a new kid in 3rd class was having similar problems. It really wasn't anything intentional, it was a small country school (about 35 kids and 2 teachers), all the parents new eachother outside of school, the kids were all best friends. It wasn't that they were trying to exclude the new kid, but if some kid you kinda know is sitting on one bench, and your best mate is sitting on the other, who you gonna go sit with? Eventually the kid said something to his mum, who said it to the teacher, who said it to us, the older students, and we made that tiny bit of extra effort to include him (not that we were intentionally excluding him in the first place, if you get me). The kid had suffered in silence for about a month, from the teacher saying something to us to the kid being included the same as the rest took about a week.
Defo say something to the teachers, it will sort itself out given time. Getting him to go training with the local GAA team, things like that (only if he wants to) will defo help.
yeah, cheers man, makes sense... i think that approach of the teacher encouraging the other kids to make a bit more effort will get thru to a few, and then on to the more reluctant with time...
Chaz,
we've an 8 year old girl, and the amount of cliques and inter clique bullying and exclusion that goes on in her class would freak you out.
They get over it, hes the new kid ..they've known each other for years..you can't move him out of the School, the problem will follow him.
Kids are relentless and at 8, completely ammoral, as long as its not them thats being picked on. They'll back the fcuker up doing the picking.
he has to find a way, either by sports, or better yet being cleverer than the bullies.
speaking to the teachers is a good way to get it sorted. They will know who to squeeze.
Its the law of the Jungle in school, you just need to help him find his claws to fight back..
He definitely can't let them see it get to him.
They were bullying somebody else before he arrived.
Richie
My lad was the blow in, and a shy one at that. Had a few problems with one kid, and the rest of the kids followed. He felt very isolated. However, he did TaeKwon Do, and a couple of the 4th class boys trained with him. he started hanging with them at break time, and all of a sudden he was looked on as cool by his classmates, because he was 'in' with th 4th classers..... Kids can be fickle. All it takes is to find some common ground.
Invite one of them on a Sprockids spin with him... might break the Ice...
part of the problem is, there ain't a mean bone in his body, and he's a little bit more innocent than he should be... but i think the words i had with the teach might have helped this time. he's getting a new bike for christmas, and then i'll be bringing him on some of the sprockids spins... might even take up your idea fat fecker.. . and i think you're right richie, the teachers do know who to apply a little persuasion upon...his sister is 5, in the same school, no problem there, the difference is she started school with all the other kids in her class, and kids haven't really developed a mean streak at that age, generally... but anyway, i'm a bit more optomistic with the situation now..
I hope it works out, it's heartbreaking watching your kids struggle. If it's any consolation I had a pretty tough time being bullied by a kid in primary school, one day I just had enough and gave the guy a right kicking, never knew I had it in me and never heard from him again. Bullies are generally chicken****s. I think I turned out pretty normal, bar my obsession with tyres and knitting.
Nice to see some sound, sensible advice being offered on the site! Any of us with kids can really empatise with you Incarcerated!
Leaving the school would be a last resort for me - you probably don't have too many options close anyway? Also I think a child arriving in a new school mid-year could find it difficult to settle and you might end up in the same situation again.
I would keep gentle but consistant pressure on the teacher - maybe drop in every couple of weeks seeking updates and "advice"! "I'm not going away you know!" And then at the end of the school year reassess and make a decision.
Hope it works out!