Rnd 1 XC League Djouce Woods Circuit 18.1.09

Todays weather in Djouce was mental. Sub Zero temepratures, stormy winds and snow showers.
20 Hardy riders from all the Major Irish MTB Clubs, MAD, Irelands premier MTB Club, EPIC irelands Gnarliest hardcore Club and IMBRC, Ireland sexiest MTB Club. There was also a wide range of bikes and abilities. From John O'Reilly on his amazing green Raleigh " Yoke II " to Alfie wallace on his freeride bike. Roo Devoy had his infamous "Little Red" between his thighs.
Rossco wore his tiny little cap and armed with his Storck, looked set to upset the stalwart XC riders like Oisin Boydell and Timothy Von James..
Inanyways due to the " Land at the edge of the Universe " weather ,the race Organiser/Doctor/Timekeeper/course designer/ former postman decided to change the course slightly as we weren't covered for Hypothermia and Yeti bites.
After a recce lap, I set the riders off, we had 1 DNF before we started and 1 AWOL.
However, the fireroad served to spilt the riders apart and myself and jack settled in for a cosy 45 minutes, enjoying the sub zero temperatures and the hurricane force winds, we amused ourselves by speculatiing on the winners,losers and who would get lost.
Coming into view on the first lap came Boydell (MAD) and James( EPIC/Buckingham palace)
the two of them looked evenly matched. James on a bogstandard Specialized and Oisin on a Cotic with bigger than usual forks.
Into benchcut they went , with james frothing at the mouth and Boydell flicking back his hair.
Not far behind came Wallace (EPIC/The Dubliners) horsing along up the hill..whinging about having no big ring.
Next up came Niall Somers (EPIC)..gunning for The Alfster..
then there was a few seconds and Rossco( EPIC ) hot on his heels Came Roo Zoolander ( EPIC/acme sideboards) Oscar ( EPIC/ CX Goober), Mark Solan ( Bandit) then MTB Legend and Offroad Commsion Supremo ( MAD/ Jack russels)Morgan O Connell
with new star Ste ( EPIC/Garmin) closing the gap.
Next up came Darragh Mortimer resurrected ( EPIC/comeback club) , behind him came the other Niall (UCD/EPIC)..hard on his heels came Vinnie Price ( EPIC/Skippy.com)
Then Ben merchant ( IMBRC/Spoke.ie)..chasing him came Paul Barry and limping along on his going to the shops YokeII was Johnny O'reilly ( EPIC/ Elvislives.com) ..
The second lap showed very little in the way of changes, but there were loads of little battles going on..too many DNFs, one awol , a hurty knee but the real men got on with the business of racing..
Going in to the last lap, Jack said to me.
" I'm sorry I didn't race, i'd have beaten all of them, what with my secret training spins with Kev and Rogan "..
I laughed at his Limey arrogance but when he threatened me with MI6 I shut up..
anyway..
the race winner came in to view, and it was none other than James, his mighty engine pushing up the hill..Boydell had blown his lights..afterwards he remarked he should have had the 3rd weetabix but thought he'd chance it, believing in the old training tip,
roughage before energy equals slow release fast twitch muscle hypogenesis.
As Tim crossed the line he went on about English superiority, blah blah blah..I ignored him while Jack cleaned his shoes.
Next up Boydell arrived in..looking calm but listless ( re weetabix issues)
then storming up the road like a young Lance armstrong, wallace took the bronze.
Hot on his heels came Niall Somers, then not long after a tired but pleased Mark Solan.
Then came the second of the great battles ..Morgan and Ste..
next up came Darragh ..with Ross valiantly trying to close the gap, but considering that he did a extra long lap..that was pretty good going.
Vinnie stromed in to the finish area looking hot but savage.
Ben rocked up to complete the field.
talking to folks they all loved it, despite the horrendous weather. there were too many dnfs.
!! mechanicals and falling about.
A big thanks to Jack, even though he spent the whole time slagging all the racers ..
I can happily say I have never been so cold in my life.
Thanks to all the lads who came along and raced. Sure it was tough, but you now no what to work on.
There will be two more and we'll have a prizegiving.
Don't worry if you didn't make it , you're more than welcome at the next one which will be on 3 rock.
The races are not handicapped..would you like me to handicap the next one ?
Heres the results
1. Tim James ( EPIC)
2.Oisin Boydell ( MAD)
3.Alfie Wallace ( EPIC)
4.Niall Somers ( EPIC)
5.Mark Solon ( Bandit)
6.Morgan O'Connell ( MAD)
7. Ste Thomas ( EPIC)
8.Darragh Mortimer ( EPIC)
9.Niall ( UCD)
10.Vincent Price ( EPIC)
11.Ben merchant ( IMBRC)

If i got anything wrong let me know. more people finished than DNFed or got lost, but i still think of it as a success.
Well done people, see you next time..
Richie

Jaysus..did nobody like it at all..?

Fair play to you for standing around in that wind.... it was like that bit in The Day After Tomorrow when all the helicopters froze and fell out of the sky... yeah... cold

did everyone in Djouce get Tarja's calling card or am I special ?

(GARMIN) ha ha very good....great mornings racing. Cheers Jack and Richie for the words of encouragement and doing the marking... Roll on 3 rock!!!

The lap times weren't going to happen as I was not talking my gloves off..I had to use a pencil for flips sake.
I think Tims tyres were black.
As for the Weetabix and Oisin..i did say Hypogenesis, which means he used sugar on them rather than organic fruit..which if you were still racin XC ,you would know extends the Glyacemic threshold and increases aerobic osmotic mitochondrion transference.
What i want to know is how come both John and Ross got lost..John ended up at GC and Ross came from the 2nd carpark.
At least Ste didn't get lost and how come Niall Somers has a friend called niall..
and what club is mark Solon in..I saw him hanging out with team-worc one day. Mark if you are out there PM me, I have that membership form for you !!
Roo got the hurty knee by the way.
lads , if you are in another Club and you are not getting out on spins, you can come out with EPIC, theres no pressure to join us, i completely understand club loyalty and all that ****e. But I'd hate to think lads are sitting at home because they are just off the pace and are afeared of going out with their club.
I run saturday spins, Tuesday and Thursday spins and Sunday spins.
Don't be lying in bed wishing you were on a spin. Turn up, wear your club gear and take the abuse we'll give you,
Richie

Brilliant Stuff... Looking forward to the next one!
Took me about two hours to defrost once I got home...

Niall

Great report Richie :)

thanls Eoin, i'd rather be actually doing something about getting people racing then trying to find excuses not to..

Only defrosted now...

Thanks for organising that. It was great craic but I'd forgotten how hard racing is. All I can remember from the races last year is the fun bits when I had energy but the pain chasing someone up a climb was wiped from my memory until today. No pain no gain though. Looking forward to the next one. I'll have my weetabix pre-soaked for optimal energy uptake next time too.

good man Oisin..now be a good lad and get your haircut !

Awesome mornings racing Richie and a great report. Took me an hour to clean the mud off my bike afterwards and defrost. Must have had half of Djouce on the bike. Great crack even if I was a little (ahem) of the pace - that was the kick up the arse I needed.
Fair play for standing around in that cold, unreal conditions but it added to the racing and nice to know that it was that third weetabix I had for breakfast which slowed me down...
For the record I believe that Alpen soaked in apple juice overnight is the breakfast of champions (so I'm not eating it obviously).

Cheers Richie and Jack for standing in those sub zero temeratures. Thats dedication.Great bit of racing: Looking forward to the next one.

Jaysus though that wind was horrible. Myself Tim and niall went for a quick spin afterwards...It was freezing.

Im typing with a pencil in my mouth because of the frostbite.....

Deadly race lads - great craic, thanks for the timing in sub zero temperatures! I decided to make things difficult for myself and included a tour of Djouce in the second lap....

That was some amount of mud though - made for a few hairy moments on benchcut!

Great write up and well done to all the heros who put there money where their mouths are. Well done, fair play to Jack for helping out, I hope you two shared body warmth. I was shamefully cutting porcelain tiles out back with a wet saw and was blown out of it, you should have seen the state of the cuts, my hands were so cold I cut off 3 fingers and it was only that evening that I noticed.

Todays weather in Djouce was mental. Sub Zero temepratures, stormy winds and snow showers.
20 Hardy riders from all the Major Irish MTB Clubs, MAD, Irelands premier MTB Club, EPIC irelands Gnarliest hardcore Club and IMBRC, Ireland sexiest MTB Club. There was also a wide range of bikes and abilities. From John O'Reilly on his amazing green Raleigh " Yoke II " to Alfie wallace on his freeride bike. Roo Devoy had his infamous "Little Red" between his thighs.
Rossco wore his tiny little cap and armed with his Storck, looked set to upset the stalwart XC riders like Oisin Boydell and Timothy Von James..
Inanyways due to the " Land at the edge of the Universe " weather ,the race Organiser/Doctor/Timekeeper/course designer/ former postman decided to change the course slightly as we weren't covered for Hypothermia and Yeti bites.
After a recce lap, I set the riders off, we had 1 DNF before we started and 1 AWOL.
However, the fireroad served to spilt the riders apart and myself and jack settled in for a cosy 45 minutes, enjoying the sub zero temperatures and the hurricane force winds, we amused ourselves by speculatiing on the winners,losers and who would get lost.
Coming into view on the first lap came Boydell (MAD) and James( EPIC/Buckingham palace)
the two of them looked evenly matched. James on a bogstandard Specialized and Oisin on a Cotic with bigger than usual forks.
Into benchcut they went , with james frothing at the mouth and Boydell flicking back his hair.
Not far behind came Wallace (EPIC/The Dubliners) horsing along up the hill..whinging about having no big ring.
Next up came Niall Somers (EPIC)..gunning for The Alfster..
then there was a few seconds and Rossco( EPIC ) hot on his heels Came Roo Zoolander ( EPIC/acme sideboards) Oscar ( EPIC/ CX Goober), Mark Solan ( Bandit) then MTB Legend and Offroad Commsion Supremo ( MAD/ Jack russels)Morgan O Connell
with new star Ste ( EPIC/Garmin) closing the gap.
Next up came Darragh Mortimer resurrected ( EPIC/comeback club) , behind him came the other Niall (UCD/EPIC)..hard on his heels came Vinnie Price ( EPIC/Skippy.com)
Then Ben merchant ( IMBRC/Spoke.ie)..chasing him came Paul Barry and limping along on his going to the shops YokeII was Johnny O'reilly ( EPIC/ Elvislives.com) ..
The second lap showed very little in the way of changes, but there were loads of little battles going on..too many DNFs, one awol , a hurty knee but the real men got on with the business of racing..
Going in to the last lap, Jack said to me.
" I'm sorry I didn't race, i'd have beaten all of them, what with my secret training spins with Kev and Rogan "..
I laughed at his Limey arrogance but when he threatened me with MI6 I shut up..
anyway..
the race winner came in to view, and it was none other than James, his mighty engine pushing up the hill..Boydell had blown his lights..afterwards he remarked he should have had the 3rd weetabix but thought he'd chance it, believing in the old training tip,
roughage before energy equals slow release fast twitch muscle hypogenesis.
As Tim crossed the line he went on about English superiority, blah blah blah..I ignored him while Jack cleaned his shoes.
Next up Boydell arrived in..looking calm but listless ( re weetabix issues)
then storming up the road like a young Lance armstrong, wallace took the bronze.
Hot on his heels came Niall Somers, then not long after a tired but pleased Mark Solan.
Then came the second of the great battles ..Morgan and Ste..
next up came Darragh ..with Ross valiantly trying to close the gap, but considering that he did a extra long lap..that was pretty good going.
Vinnie stromed in to the finish area looking hot but savage.
Ben rocked up to complete the field.
talking to folks they all loved it, despite the horrendous weather. there were too many dnfs.
!! mechanicals and falling about.
A big thanks to Jack, even though he spent the whole time slagging all the racers ..
I can happily say I have never been so cold in my life.
Thanks to all the lads who came along and raced. Sure it was tough, but you now no what to work on.
There will be two more and we'll have a prizegiving.
Don't worry if you didn't make it , you're more than welcome at the next one which will be on 3 rock.
The races are not handicapped..would you like me to handicap the next one ?
Heres the results
1. Tim James ( EPIC)
2.Oisin Boydell ( MAD)
3.Alfie Wallace ( EPIC)
4.Niall Somers ( EPIC)
5.Mark Solon ( Bandit)
6.Morgan O'Connell ( MAD)
7. Ste Thomas ( EPIC)
8.Darragh Mortimer ( EPIC)
9.Niall ( UCD)
10.Vincent Price ( EPIC)
11.Ben merchant ( IMBRC)

If i got anything wrong let me know. more people finished than DNFed or got lost, but i still think of it as a success.
Well done people, see you next time..
Richie

Jaysus..did nobody like it at all..?

Fair play to you for standing around in that wind.... it was like that bit in The Day After Tomorrow when all the helicopters froze and fell out of the sky... yeah... cold

did everyone in Djouce get Tarja's calling card or am I special ?

(GARMIN) ha ha very good....great mornings racing. Cheers Jack and Richie for the words of encouragement and doing the marking... Roll on 3 rock!!!

The lap times weren't going to happen as I was not talking my gloves off..I had to use a pencil for flips sake.
I think Tims tyres were black.
As for the Weetabix and Oisin..i did say Hypogenesis, which means he used sugar on them rather than organic fruit..which if you were still racin XC ,you would know extends the Glyacemic threshold and increases aerobic osmotic mitochondrion transference.
What i want to know is how come both John and Ross got lost..John ended up at GC and Ross came from the 2nd carpark.
At least Ste didn't get lost and how come Niall Somers has a friend called niall..
and what club is mark Solon in..I saw him hanging out with team-worc one day. Mark if you are out there PM me, I have that membership form for you !!
Roo got the hurty knee by the way.
lads , if you are in another Club and you are not getting out on spins, you can come out with EPIC, theres no pressure to join us, i completely understand club loyalty and all that ****e. But I'd hate to think lads are sitting at home because they are just off the pace and are afeared of going out with their club.
I run saturday spins, Tuesday and Thursday spins and Sunday spins.
Don't be lying in bed wishing you were on a spin. Turn up, wear your club gear and take the abuse we'll give you,
Richie

Brilliant Stuff... Looking forward to the next one!
Took me about two hours to defrost once I got home...

Niall

Great report Richie :)

thanls Eoin, i'd rather be actually doing something about getting people racing then trying to find excuses not to..

Only defrosted now...

Thanks for organising that. It was great craic but I'd forgotten how hard racing is. All I can remember from the races last year is the fun bits when I had energy but the pain chasing someone up a climb was wiped from my memory until today. No pain no gain though. Looking forward to the next one. I'll have my weetabix pre-soaked for optimal energy uptake next time too.

good man Oisin..now be a good lad and get your haircut !

Awesome mornings racing Richie and a great report. Took me an hour to clean the mud off my bike afterwards and defrost. Must have had half of Djouce on the bike. Great crack even if I was a little (ahem) of the pace - that was the kick up the arse I needed.
Fair play for standing around in that cold, unreal conditions but it added to the racing and nice to know that it was that third weetabix I had for breakfast which slowed me down...
For the record I believe that Alpen soaked in apple juice overnight is the breakfast of champions (so I'm not eating it obviously).

Cheers Richie and Jack for standing in those sub zero temeratures. Thats dedication.Great bit of racing: Looking forward to the next one.

Jaysus though that wind was horrible. Myself Tim and niall went for a quick spin afterwards...It was freezing.

Im typing with a pencil in my mouth because of the frostbite.....

Deadly race lads - great craic, thanks for the timing in sub zero temperatures! I decided to make things difficult for myself and included a tour of Djouce in the second lap....

That was some amount of mud though - made for a few hairy moments on benchcut!

Great write up and well done to all the heros who put there money where their mouths are. Well done, fair play to Jack for helping out, I hope you two shared body warmth. I was shamefully cutting porcelain tiles out back with a wet saw and was blown out of it, you should have seen the state of the cuts, my hands were so cold I cut off 3 fingers and it was only that evening that I noticed.